Anything Like Me

I remember sayin', "I don't care either way

Just as long as he or she is healthy, I'm okay"

Then the doctor pointed to the corner of the screen

And said," Ya see that thing right there? Well, ya know what that means"

And I started wonderin' who he was gonna be

And I thought, "Heaven help us if he's anything like me"

He'll probably climb a tree too tall and ride his bike to fast

End up every summer wearin' somethin' in a cast

He's gonna throw a ball and break some glass in a window down the street

He's gonna get in trouble, oh, he's gonna get in fights

I'm gonna lose my temper and some sleep

It's safe to say that I'm gonna get my pay back if he's anything like me

I can see him right now, knees all skinned up

With a magnifying glass, tryin' to melt the Tonka truck

Won't he be a sight with his football helmet on?

That'll be his first love 'til his first love comes along

He'll get his heart broke by the time he's in his teens

And heaven help him if he's anything like me

He'll probably stay out too late and drive his car too fast

Get a speedin' ticket he'll pay for mowin' grass

He's gonna get caught skippin' class and be grounded for a week

He's gonna get in trouble, we're gonna get in fights

I'm gonna lose my temper and some sleep

It's safe to say that I'm gonna get my pay back if he's anything like me

He's gonna love me and hate me along the way

Years are gonna fly by, I already dread the day

He's gonna hug his momma he's gonna shake my hand

He's gonna act like he can't wait to leave

But as he drives out, he'll cry his eyes out

If he's anything like me, there's worse folks to be like

Aw, he'll be alright, if he's anything like me